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Friday, May 27, 2011

Chuck Norris



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The principals of Chun Kuk Do!


I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.
I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements.
I will continually work at developing love, happiness and loyalty in my family.
I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile.
If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing.
I will always be as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness.
I will maintain respect for those in authority and demonstrate this respect at all times.
I will always remain loyal to my God, my country, family and my friends.
I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country and myself.

ALSO!!!

-Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck’s gas tank as a joke….that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
-There is no ‘Ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’ computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
-Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes
-Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
-Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn, he stares at it and dares it to grow.
-When it’s time for people to die, the Grim Reaper shows up. When its time for the Grim Reaper to die, Chuck Norris shows up.
-Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
-Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
-Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
-Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn’t stopped spinning.
-Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
-When Chuck Norris stares at the Sun, the Sun goes blind.
-They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn’t take shit from anybody.
-There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
-Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago, death is too scared to tell him
-Chuck Norris can divide by zero
-Chuck Norris once roudhoused kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek
-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
-Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear…Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
-Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
-Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck’s gas tank as a joke….that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
-There is no ‘Ctrl’ button on Chuck Norris’ computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
-Chuck Norris is the only man to punch a cyclops between the eyes
-Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
-Chuck Norris doesn’t mow his lawn, he stares at it and dares it to grow.
-When it’s time for people to die, the Grim Reaper shows up. When its time for the Grim Reaper to die, Chuck Norris shows up.
-Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
-Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
-Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
-Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn’t stopped spinning.
-Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
-When Chuck Norris stares at the Sun, the Sun goes blind.
-They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem: It wouldn’t take shit from anybody.
-There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
-Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago, death is too scared to tell him
-Chuck Norris can divide by zero
-Chuck Norris once roudhoused kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek
-When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
-Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear…Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
-Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
-Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.