Marriage Humour....

Wife: What are you doing?
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : Nothing...? You 've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.
Husband : I was looking for the expiry date.
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Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure! What are my choices?
Wife : Yes or no.
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Wife: You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?
Hubby: When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem
disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Hubby: Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?

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Stress Reliever Girl: 'When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.'
Boy: 'It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles.'
Girl: 'Well that's because we aren't married yet.'

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Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'

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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever
The guy replies: 'Thanks for the early warning.'

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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'Your sense of humour!'